Dear Internet,
I want
to get off the ride. I am now fifteen or
more hours into this game and am actively trying to stay away from the abysmal story. With all things considered, that would be the
quickest way to finish my torture. But
then again I might be just be a masochist.
However, you would have to beat it out of me to admit it. This game is one of those weird situations
where it gets worse the further it goes, but you are too invested to not see it
to the end, sort of how one might refuse to admit that they know nothing about plumbing
despite busting a pipe and flooding the basement. The story is what makes this train wreck all
the more amazing that anyone at Lion Head Studios thought this was a good idea.
"Fable
III" does its very best to remind the player that the whole premise of the
game is to overthrow the tyrannical king and become the new monarch. The advertisement for the game stressed
this. The box's description emphasizes this. Everyone that you meet within the first five
hours tells you this. The game goes exceptionally
out of its way to highlight the effects of the kings decisions upon the people,
which lead to public executions, heavy poverty, rampant diseases, and a
complete lack of hope all around. So
what does the player expect to do? All
of this and then rule the kingdom, which does not sound half bad. You get to rule a vast land, right wrongs, manage
the treasury, and even lead an army.
That last part seemed to get the developers scratching their heads, it
seems. For what point is there in having
an army if there is nothing to fight? Enter
the Crawler, who is part of the Darkness.
Basically, an ancient evil has awoken.
An out of left field cliché ridden plot twist that has become part of
the problem that the RPG genre has become stagnant enters the fray in a
completely unapologetic manner that fails to understand what is wrong with
itself.
Every
time that a game pulls this twist, it is usually for two common reasons. Either it is to make the game longer by
creating new conflict that hopes to supersede the previous in terms of risk or
danger, or it does so to bring new reflection upon the actions of the bad guy
that tries to make them sympathetic, empathetic, or justifiable in their
actions. "Fable III" does both
in such a horrible manner that the writer who made this should be ashamed. "The Crawler" shows up late in the
game, just about before the final push to revolt when the player is forced
fight the minions of "the Darkness."
The game even presents a near dead kingdom that has fallen to it in an
attempt to show how terribly strong this new evil is. The problem with this is that the minions of
evil are THE easiest enemies that the game has to offer. Area fire/electricity magic attacks cause
them to die in a single hit. The game
throws a lot of them at the player at once to make up for this, but breaking a
stack of fine china is just as easy as breaking a single plate. It is hard to make the ultimate evil sound
horrifying when they cannot get good help.
Even the average highwayman is stronger than them.
 |
| I took this screencapture with one hand while playing the game with my bad hand. |
The
second thing that the story attempts to do is show that Logan knew about this
threat and all the terrible things he did was to build up an army to fight the
Darkness. Logan tries to explain that he
was doing it for the greater good. All those
internal problems that he created by his actions that were destroying the
kingdom from the inside out were to prevent it from being destroyed from the
outside in. It is the old argument that the
end justifies the means. Here, it is
layered with a topping of "making the hard decisions is all part of being
the king." The game goes one step
farther by saying that he knew all of this because the same oracle that has
been guiding the player told him about this threat years ago.
 |
| "I had a good reason why I was a jerk." |
After
this, the game presents you with the same option that Logan had to make. Either rule with an iron fist, tax the people
until they die to raise and army, and fight back the Darkness to protect what
is left after all that hardship destroys the kingdom from within, or win the
love of the people by keeping your promises, strengthen your kingdom through
lavish spending, and have the Darkness destroy the people of your land instead
of your own actions doing so. The
foolishness of this choice is that if you do the same thing that Logan had been
doing, you should expect the same thing that happened to him. A rebellion and dethroning would be
inevitable. Choosing to be benevolent
and trustworthy by keeping your promises is only made difficult by tacking on
money amounts to attempt to force the player to think they are making difficult
decisions when in actuality the player can plunge the country into debt and pay
off the difference out of their own pocket.
Then again, minus the out-of-own-pocket thing, plunging the country into
heavy debt sounds more realistic that I would like to think. Also, the game brings the polarized morality problem
when it comes to Logan's fate. Either
the player can pardon the tyrant and gain the advantage of his loyal forces or
kill him. There is no jail option, so if
you choose to let him live, you come across as completely understanding that he
did what he had to do to keep the kingdom together. The game even has him saying that he does not
expect to be forgiven which just shows that he knew what he was doing was
wrong. By trying to make him
sympathetic, the game invalidates the suffering that it had been force feeding
the player for ten hours or more.
 |
| Killing some of your populace is like spanking a child, right? |
So, how
am I supposed to save the kingdom without plunging it into an industrial age depression? Bake pies and become a land baron. The former because pies can go for upwards of
a grand and the latter because it is the only way to meaningfully make cash
quickly and more important passively.
That is primarily what I will be doing tomorrow, all the while asking
myself why I am so invested in a kingdom of people who would become friends
with the Darkness if it could play a mean game of Pat-a-cake.
 |
| The darkness is killing him...no, wait. He is just using the "Hug" interaction. |
Yours in digital,
BeepBoop
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